Hello. My name is Billy and here's yet another revamp of the site, where I moan for England on a variety of subjects. It's nothing special; just the ineffectual rantings of a bitter forty-something trapped in London by necessity (I like the money) and idleness (I can't be arsed to find another job.), though the way things are going, it won't be for too much longer.

  If you've never been here before, this all about me venting my spleen. (I have a particulary enormous spleen and it requires regular venting.) Back in 2003 when I set it up this site, there was no wanky 'blogging, and 'Facebook' was merely a twinkle in some arsehole's eyes. The only way one could let off steam was to shell out for one's own website, hence this place. The reason behind it was that I'd reached that stage in my life (mid Thirties, pissed off with life in general and utterly sick of London in particular) and my only outlet was to go for a few ales after work. Obviously, this used to be hell on both the liver and the wallet and it wasn't doing the sick leave record much good either. These days, if anything gets on my tits (and, believe me, an awful lot does), I just write about it here and ping it out into cyberspace, which is both cheaper and immensely cathartic.

   Anyway, thanks for dropping by and cheers for the hit. Have a wander round and lose yourselves in the pointless musings of a low-watt luminary. You can leave a message for me too, if that sort of thing floats your boat. I'm reachable via the Guestbook if you fee the urge. Go on, You know you want to...

   If anything in my humble domain amuses you and puts a smile on your undoubtedly gorgeous face, please feel free to spread the word. Frankly, I could do with the hits. Shitbag 'researchers' at certain tabloids (which shall remain nameless) - please don't nick anything you read here again without asking. If you want to use my words, drop me a line. I'm nothing if not cheap.

   Finally, if any Londoners out there have read through this intro and suddenly realised that you too feel the same and could do with some guidance, please click on my picture above - I think I can help give your lives some direction...

  Billy x

Well, Wolverhampton Wanderers are relegated from the Premier League once more. Mick McCarthy is but a distant memory and there's some Norwegian nobody's ever heard of lined up for the job. This has been nothing short of an embarrassment and the Molineux board should hang their collective heads in shame.
  Still, there is one positive to come from Championship football; at least we'll be able to get shot of overpaid no-hopers like Doyle and hopefully get some young blood in and rebuild for the future.
  Meanwhile, Lucy Pinder will remain to remind me of all the tits who will be out of a job in May...

Consistently one of the funniest sites on the whole interweb is the mighty 'B3ta', which is home to some of the most amusing pictures, stories and spoofs you'll ever come across. Visit this site while you're at work and that's it - you won't get anything done. Check out the Photoshop caption competitions and look out for some of the flash games, too. Oh, and 'Buffy's Swearing Keyboard' is a scream!

Name a decent magazine dedicated to Heavy Metal. Kerrang!, right? Wrong. Back in the Eighties, maybe, but they had Eminem on the cover last time I looked. For a taste of the sort of stuff I listen to, pop over to the boys opposite. Cutting edge stuff from the real world of Metal. Industrial, Doom, Hardcore - it's all here. Fill your boots.

Look, it's very simple. If you download music from iTunes, you're being ripped off. They're charging you 79p for a crappy 128kbps download, which is sheer extortion. Click on the pic for much cheaper downloads at much better quality - 192kbps mostly, and many as high as 320kbps! Or, you can stay in love with the Apple brand and carry on wasting your cash. Mug.

You know how it is, you have some great mates when you're younger, then you settle down (or they do) or you move on (or they do) and, though you swear to stay in touch, somehow it never quite happens.
  So here's where I try and track down some faces from years gone by. If anyone knows where to find Kevin 'Boog' Barnes (last seen in Bristol) be a hero and direct him to this site, willya? Ta!
  (And before the clever bastards start; no, he's not on Facebook.)

You can follow my inane witterings and observations on Twitter. Unsurprisingly, I go by the handle _BILLYTHEFISH_
  So if you're one of those people who feel the urge to deal with daily life in small chunks of a hundred and forty characters or less, simply drop me a request and I'll link up with you.
  Don't expect anything earth-shattering or intensive. I'm only an occasional Twitterer...at the moment.

After years of denial, I have finally given in and joined the Facebook revolution. Partly because everyone I know and like is already on it, but mostly because MySpace has turned into a corporate shop window and, frankly, I'm not really interested in learning all about Florence and her 'machine' and I couldn't care less what Adele is 'into'. Who is Adele when she's at home? Where did she come from? When is she going? Hmm...Anyway, if you know my 'real' name, look me up.

Next time you're in London, pop into the 'new' Intrepid Fox. Ok, so it ain't got the charm of the old gaff on Wardour Street, but it's bigger and more friendly and there's loads of room to mingle over the two large floors. Simply head for Tottenham Court Road tube station, come out and walk towards Centre Point. The Fox is below it round the corner.

London is not the only city with a rock scene, Birmingham has it's moments too. Check out the spiffing two-floor brilliance of 'Scruffy's' if you're ever in town. Top floor for contemporary and nu-metal, downstairs for old skool rock and ska-punk. Get in!

Trolling is easily my new favourite pastime! If you've never checked out 'AICN', then it's about time you did. Lots of inside info from all the upcoming Hollywood fare. Best of all, if you sign up, you get to post your own thoughts and opinions. Or, like me, be a git and tune up the fanboys. Give it a go, and if you see any posts by 'BiggusDickus'...well, he's a hero, isn't he?

Check out Homer's band, The Picture. This particular bit is now a eulogy to my dear brother-in-law and all the fun and good times he used to have with his mates every Thursday at their jamming sessions (and on the occasion that they found a gig somewhere in the Black Country.) Just a bunch of great guys having fun. Steve's best and oldest mate, the awesome and estimable Fred, is keeping the flag flying now. Click on the link opposite and do your part. Thanks!

Well, if you've been keeping up with things over on the Diary page, you'll no doubt be aware that I am going to become a father again at the age of forty-three.
  So, taking your questions in order:

* It's a boy.
* No, we don't have a name yet.
* Yes, I do remember what it was like last time.
* No, I don't know what I was playing at.
* Yes, he will get his own web page.

  It's going to be interesting to see how things pan out this time round now that I'm older and wiser (!), but on the whole it's fair to say that I'm excited.
  No, hang on, terrified. Yes, that's the word.

I didn't appreciate just how big a part my smartphone played in my life until I lost the bloody thing. And at the start of a Bank Holiday weekend, too, meaning the replacement won't get to me until about Friday. Arses.

Well, the time has come once more to head off down to Cornwall and chill out for a week to the sound of the sea and the cry of the seagulls. A number of different things will be coming to a head upon my return, so the chance for seven days of recharging the batteries is very welcome.
  I won't be going nuts on the food and ale this time, either. I'm now eight months into my year-long training regime and have just started the final phase of the programme, so there's no way I'm going to jeopardise the gains I've made so far simply for the sake of a belly full of pasties. These abs have been ridiculously hard to come by and I ain't letting them slide now!
  So ta-ta, play nice and I'll see youse all in a week...