Hello. My name is Billy and here's yet another revamp of the site, where I moan for England on a variety of subjects. It's nothing special; just the ineffectual rantings of a bitter forty-something trapped in London by necessity (I like the money) and idleness (I can't be arsed to find another job.), though the way things are going, it won't be for too much longer.

  If you've never been here before, this all about me venting my spleen. (I have a particulary enormous spleen and it requires regular venting.) Back in 2003 when I set it up this site, there was no wanky 'blogging, and 'Facebook' was merely a twinkle in some arsehole's eyes. The only way one could let off steam was to shell out for one's own website, hence this place. The reason behind it was that I'd reached that stage in my life (mid Thirties, pissed off with life in general and utterly sick of London in particular) and my only outlet was to go for a few ales after work. Obviously, this used to be hell on both the liver and the wallet and it wasn't doing the sick leave record much good either. These days, if anything gets on my tits (and, believe me, an awful lot does), I just write about it here and ping it out into cyberspace, which is both cheaper and immensely cathartic.

   Anyway, thanks for dropping by and cheers for the hit. Have a wander round and lose yourselves in the pointless musings of a low-watt luminary. You can leave a message for me too, if that sort of thing floats your boat. I'm reachable via the Guestbook if you fee the urge. Go on, You know you want to...

   If anything in my humble domain amuses you and puts a smile on your undoubtedly gorgeous face, please feel free to spread the word. Frankly, I could do with the hits. Shitbag 'researchers' at certain tabloids (which shall remain nameless) - please don't nick anything you read here again without asking. If you want to use my words, drop me a line at the address above. I'm nothing if not cheap.

   Finally, if any Londoners out there have read through this intro and suddenly realised that you too feel the same and could do with some guidance, please click on my picture above - I think I can help give your lives some direction...

  Billy x

Here's Leg Iron, my current favourite 'Blogger from Darkest 'Blogland (well, Scotland, but you get the gist.) Leggy is always worth a read, as he has all the bile and venom of yours truly, but is far more erudite and mostly refrains from using naughty cusswords, which, as we all know, are neither big nor clever, but extremely gratifying nonetheless.
  Leggy likes a smoke and the odd single malt, is a scientist with his own lab (just like that nice Dr. Jekyll) and what's more, he can write cracking fiction and is a published author, the git. Anyway, you really should click on the picture opposite and spend some time perusing his rather excellent 'Blog.

Well, would you believe it? Wolverhampton Wanderers are still in the Premier League despite being in the bottom three for most of the 2010/11 season and being technically relegated twice in the last forty-five minutes of the last game of the season. In the end, we stayed up by a single point, and that was only because Tottenham beat Birmingham in extra time. Up until then, we were staying up on goals scored!
  I still think Super Mick is riding his luck and his team selections are sometimes shocking, but fair play to him - job done!
  Meanwhile, Lucy Pinder's tits will remain, at least until I can find the Page 3 shoot for this year's new kit. Up the Wolves!

Consistently one of the funniest sites on the whole interweb is the mighty 'B3ta', which is home to some of the most amusing pictures, stories and spoofs you'll ever come across. Visit this site while you're at work and that's it - you won't get anything done. Check out the Photoshop caption competitions and look out for some of the flash games, too. Oh, and 'Buffy's Swearing Keyboard' is a scream!

Look, it's very simple. If you download music from iTunes, you're being ripped off. They're charging you 79p for a crappy 128kbps download, which is sheer extortion. Click on the pic for much cheaper downloads at much better quality - 192kbps mostly, and many as high as 320kbps! Or, you can stay in love with the Apple brand and carry on wasting your cash. Mug.

Keep your eye on this one, as it's not quite ready yet. When it is, you're going to love the ongoing antics of Jeremy the Annoying Horse. It's a cartoon strip by regular B3TA contributor, Freshwater Mole all about an extremely irritating horse who appears to have the personality of a spoiled, ADD eight-year-old public school boy. Very loud and no social graces. Click on the picture regularly to see if its gone 'live' yet.

Those of you who were around in the very early days of the site may remember this one. Yes, it's the long-awaited return of the awesome 'Walk Home Drunk' game! Click on the image and move your mouse from side to side in the opposite direction from the one our little rat-arsed friend is leaning to and see how long you can keep him upright and awake. I've got him to ninety metres, which is about as far as I myself can make it before the kebab fairy starts whispering in my ear...

Name a decent magazine dedicated to Heavy Metal. Kerrang!, right? Wrong. Back in the Eighties, maybe, but they had Eminem on the cover last time I looked. For a taste of the sort of stuff I listen to, pop over to the boys opposite. Cutting edge stuff from the real world of Metal. Industrial, Doom, Hardcore - it's all here. Fill your boots.

You know how it is, you have some great mates when you're younger, then you settle down (or they do) or you move on (or they do) and, though you swear to stay in touch, somehow it never quite happens.
  So here's where I try and track down some faces from years gone by. If anyone knows where to find Kevin 'Boog' Barnes (last seen in Bristol) be a hero and direct him to this site, willya? Ta!
  (And before the clever bastards start; no, he's not on Facebook.)

After years of denial, I have finally given in and joined the Facebook revolution. Partly because everyone I know and like is already on it, but mostly because MySpace has turned into a corporate shop window and, frankly, I'm not really interested in learning all about Florence and her 'machine' and I couldn't care less what Adele is 'into'. Who is Adele when she's at home? Where did she come from? When is she going? Hmm...Anyway, if you know my 'real' name, look me up.

Trolling is easily my new favourite pastime! If you've never checked out 'AICN', then it's about time you did. Lots of inside info from all the upcoming Hollywood fare. Best of all, if you sign up, you get to post your own thoughts and opinions. Or, like me, be a git and tune up the fanboys. Give it a go, and if you see any posts by 'BiggusDickus'...well, he's a hero, isn't he?

Next time you're in London, pop into the 'new' Intrepid Fox. Ok, so it ain't got the charm of the old gaff on Wardour Street, but it's bigger and more friendly and there's loads of room to mingle over the two large floors. Simply head for Tottenham Court Road tube station, come out and walk towards Centre Point. The Fox is below it round the corner.

London is not the only city with a rock scene, Birmingham has it's moments too. Check out the spiffing two-floor brilliance of 'Scruffy's' if you're ever in town. Top floor for contemporary and nu-metal, downstairs for old skool rock and ska-punk. Get in!

Those of you who work for a living and are forced to rely on public transport may well be familiar with Nemi, the star of the daily free 'Metro' newspaper. You know, the one that everyone picks up on the underground when they've been to cheap to buy a real paper. Anyway, for those of you unfamiliar with her, Nemi is a Goth chick who spends her life drinking, shirking and having weird, surreal and sometimes downright evil thoughts. Click the link opposite and have a read of some of the Metro's more recent Nemi strips. Quite possibly my ideal woman. I think I'm in lurve!

Here's a link to my mate Rob's page at the Saatchi Gallery. Rob's a damn good photographer and a Photoshop guru who likes playing around with images of dark and twisted landscapes. A lot of his stuff ought to be on album covers, but amazingly, he hasn't been approached to do one yet. So if you're a Goth or Metal band looking for a really sexy image for your next CD, give him a buzz!

Check out Homer's band, The Picture. This particular bit is now a eulogy to my dear brother-in-law and all the fun and good times he used to have with his mates every Thursday at their jamming sessions (and on the occasion that they found a gig somewhere in the Black Country.) Just a bunch of great guys having fun. Steve's best and oldest mate, the awesome and estimable Fred, is keeping the flag flying now. Click on the link opposite and do your part. Thanks!

"I look at the face in the mirror,
And I don't understand.
'Cos when he looks at me,
He don't like what he sees.
We don't know who I am..."

                                                                  (with apologies to Blackie Lawless)

I'm not sure anybody even reads this bit. If you do, then be aware that my next task will be to start re-shaping this homepage, getting rid of the duff old links and adding some new ones.
  Obviously this is not an overnight job, so keep an eye out, won't you? Things am changing, baby...

If the Mayans are right, then there's only ten months of existence left on this planet. Having just spent an evening in front of Saturday night television (the computer was down), then all I can say is bring on Armageddon...